One year ago today my lovely daughter walked down the aisle, headed for her soul mate, headed for joy, headed for a lifetime of companionship. This is much easier to take, as a mother, when you wholeheartedly love the person she’s walking toward. I thought I’d cry. I thought I’d be overwhelmed with emotion, maybe even some loss. I’m not good at chapters ending in life. I can get emotional at silly finales of crazy things. I bawled when I vacuumed out our first apartment after we’d emptied it. It wasn’t pretty. The people who were moving in and watching this display didn’t think so either. It also didn’t help that I was vacuuming on my hands and knees because I’d lost the extension that would have normally allowed me to stand up. Ya. Not pretty. My daughter (not the marrying one) sang at a grade 8 graduation once. I was only there to deliver her and bring her home. I held back tears for the youngsters who were at the end of their elementary school days, for their accomplishments, for their beloved teachers, for the good memories and for all that lay ahead of them…even though I didn’t personally know a single one. Ok, I didn’t hold them back. I cried like one of them was mine. So I just pretended one was.
But on my daughter’s wedding day I was not so overwhelmed. I was proud. I was joyful. I was peaceful. I was inspired by the love they had for each other, for their friends and for their family. Their friends had been their friends since they were kids. Their families of course knew them even longer. Friends, families, histories converging all knowing a piece of the past, all having played a part and all standing on the precipice of the unknown. The future. The story yet to be written.
Jenn and Josh stood with open hearts, humility and confidence in equal measure.
“I will be fascinated by you for the rest of my life.” ~ Josh
I’ll admit to a lump in my throat for that line in Josh’s vows. I wonder if a year later ‘fascinated’ could also be ‘amused’ and ‘confused’. I’ve seen that look in his eyes. The confused look. But with Josh, there’s always a laugh not too far away, always joy, not too far under the surface. Which got me to thinking….
This is what inspires me about Josh AND Jenn, this is what inspired me one year ago today when I watched them exchange promises of love and watched them interact with their guests….their capacity to love such a variety of people seems to be in their approach. Fascination and joy.
When fascination appreciates, without the need to change and observes, without the need to judge and is laced with joy, always at the ready….there is hope for love to grow.
Happy 1st anniversary. Thanks for the lessons.
Still proud, still joyful, still peaceful,
Here’s the wedding video Dave put together. Good times.